As a child, I was quiet and shy. I didn’t enjoy answering questions in school or reading aloud. I was also a daydreamer, often lost in my own world during lessons—only to panic later because I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing.
I was often told:
“You could be so smart if you would just apply yourself.”
It was probably frustrating for my parents. I couldn’t remember what I had just read in a textbook—I often reread the same passage five or six times—but I could hyper-focus on topics that interested me. For example, in grade school, I knew exact dates of Civil War battles, yet anything outside that period left me blank.
Looking back, it seems like a classic ADHD story. But growing up in the 1970s and 1980s, there was little understanding of neurodivergence. Kids with ADD or ADHD were usually labeled as troublemakers—loud and active. I was quiet, so no one suspected what was really going on in my brain.
The Quiet Knowing
At home, my parents made sure I stayed on top of everything. My room was usually clean, and I completed homework on time—but only with constant reminders. It was stressful.
College was a different story. Without my parents’ structure, I struggled. I was on academic probation for my first two years while completing basic prerequisites—and had to take introductory math three times! My room was chaotic, and I hated it. My mom always kept a spotless house, and I felt calmer in clean, structured environments. Without that modeling, I didn’t know where to start. It was overwhelming.
By junior year, things improved academically. I thought I’d grown out of my focus struggles, but really, my courses now centered on journalism—a subject I was hyper-focused on.
As an adult, simple tasks still overwhelmed me. I’d procrastinate chores, then feel embarrassed when they turned out to be easy. I wondered if something else was happening. I tried books on managing ADHD without medication, nutritional supplements, and even essential oils—some things helped a little. So, I thought that was as good as it would get.
The Day My ADHD Brain Demanded Attention
Years later, I sat in a psychiatrist’s office with one of my children, who was being screened for ADHD. As I answered the questions, my heart raced:
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“Do you have difficulty starting or finishing tasks?” Yes.
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“Do you struggle with impulsive decisions—spending, talking, or interrupting?” Definitely.
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“Do distractions get in the way of your daily life?” Absolutely.
The doctor finally asked, “Are you answering for yourself or your child?”
Yes—and yes.
ADHD often runs in families, and my intuition had been right all along. I was referred for formal testing.
Getting Diagnosed in Your 40s: What Changed?
I was diagnosed with ADHD, along with mild anxiety and depression. My doctor encouraged me to try medication while keeping the strategies I had already been using. If it didn’t help, I could wean off.
The diagnosis itself was liberating. I realized I wasn’t lazy, and my anxiety levels weren’t “normal”—my brain just worked differently. With medication and new strategies, I could complete tasks more efficiently and avoid the shame spiral. I still struggle to start big projects, but I now know how to motivate myself.
The Neurodivergent Dog Trainer
After college, a traditional 9-to-5 job wasn’t for me. I loved animals but didn’t know how to turn that passion into a career—until we adopted a “hot mess” of a dog.
Determined to help her, I apprenticed at a local training school. That experience led to becoming an instructor and counselor. Over the years, I’ve fixated on dog behavior studies, attended seminars, and taken online classes to learn as much as possible.
But my weak spots? My own dogs. I would often start to train an elaborate behavior, but then forget to follow through on subsequent days.
When I would do training sessions, my dogs learned so quickly. That would frustrate me, imagining what my dogs could achieve with a consistent trainer.
I’m developing new ways to motivate myself to train a little each day—and I’ll be sharing these strategies here. I’ve also consulted ADHD experts to combine insights from neuroscience with dog training.
Join me on this journey. While this is my personal experience, I encourage you to consult a healthcare professional to find what works best for you.